exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
