OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
