So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize