I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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