I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
