how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
