My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
