didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
