Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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