Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just invented taco cereal.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
