I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
