is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize