so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
