(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
