My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
