If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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