All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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