Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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