She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
