well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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