I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I wish you could order shots online.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
