wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
smell my finger.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
