Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
