Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
