When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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