so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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