Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
