I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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