My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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