their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
