More tranny stories later!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The uberlube is also flammable
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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