she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
