Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
