How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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