I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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