The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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