Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
