That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
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