Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
