8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
