Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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