My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
