idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I need help removing her.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
