Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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