Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
from now on my penis is your penis
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
