Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You can't motorboat a personality
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
