i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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