just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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