I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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