i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
