Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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