I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
