Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
