I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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