I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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