so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
