i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How does one acquire holy water?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
