you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
