JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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