Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
