You really coming over, don't trick.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
