"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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